It’s Been A While I Know…
Okay, so it’s been 8 months since my last post. Lay off the left nut, I’ve been busy! So, let’s do a little catching up. First the STFU podcast is doing great! jessica drake and I completed our 100th episode and we’re working out the final details to some exciting new stuff coming your way. Just before our 100th, I suddenly lost my Dad, due to a combination of bad luck and horrible medical advice. Don’t worry, to quote Johnny Cochran, “Revenge is a dish best served with a malpractice suit”. Although I was able to record pretty quickly after the funeral, inside I was a wreck. All I knew was that my father was a guy I never heard one single bad word about from anyone, and he deserved a better fate than his doctor gave him. If I can find enough “funny” things to throw into a full rant, I’ll expound on this later.
The bottom line on writing a blog is that you have to force yourself to do it regularly, which I’ve set as a 2012 resolution I normally wait until the end of the first quarter to make resolutions. That way, if the bar is set too high, I can simply ignore them until next year, and announce something more attainable. So (starting NOW), I’ll post at least twice a week.
Let’s move on to our most recent STFU Show topic, which got me in all kinds of trouble with jessica…the thrusting of fat women into our psyches as sexy women. Fat isn’t sexy, period. Dimpled, cellulite-ridden asses/legs looks horrible. A muffin-t0p midsection with low-cut jeans looks ridiculous. And last I looked, there was no successful chain of stores known as Weight Gainers. But for people over 35, we can remember when it wasn’t the norm to be 25 pounds overweight. I looked through my high school yearbook a few days ago. There were maybe 20% of my senior class who needed to lose ten pounds or less. Everyone else was either in the “fit”, “slender”, or “above average” categories. Why? Because we exercised you morons! We didn’t have a Wii. Instead of doing a half-assed kicking motion in front of our TVs, we actually had to run down a field, get to the ball, and coordinate our bodies to make a kick. We also didn’t have fast-food restaurants offering to “biggie size” our fucking meals. Small, medium, or large; those were the choices, and most of the time, the large was too much to eat. Now the biggie size fries would feed a small Angolan village. I don’t blame the restaurants; it’s getting goddamned competitive out there. The blame is no further than the mirror. Parents: take 20 minutes and cook your kid a fucking meal with a little nutrition in it. Then, send the kids outside to play for an hour. Oh sure, we might lose a few kids to the occasional pedophile, but you can’t please the Volcano Gods and have a good crop without tossing in a virgin or two.
All I’m saying is that, when the country has an obesity rate that is skyrocketing, you’re not doing the kids any favors by lowering the bar. After World War II, where would Japan be if they said, “Hey, let’s just grow rice and build rickshaws. We’re pretty good at that”? Let’s just say they wouldn’t have dominated cars and outrageous game shows if they had. We need to stop coddling kids. Every goddamned day I see parents buying 700 calorie mocha frappacinos for their 10 year-old kids at Starbucks. Great idea, Mom. Get your kid hooked on a $5 drink which will produce more diabetes than a Bosco giveaway (sorry for throwing you under the bus Bosco…I was short on time). Fat is unhealthy. It leads to higher medical costs, and is damn sure to shorten lifespans. And fat people, listen up. Just because you have some horny nimrod whose willing to call you to come over and fuck at 4 am, doesn’t mean you’re sexy, and no amount of you shouting it above the din of the buffet is going to make it so. Get your lard-azz to the gym, and push away the second and third helpings. You are not a sex symbol. Perhaps, you might have a single aspect of yourself which may be attractive, but it sure as shit isn’t your physique.